Ahh, a mermaid baby. That’s pretty cool. They should leave her like that so we can find out if she will be a kickass swimmer and break Mark Spitz’s swimming gold medal record. They can put her on tour and charge people like me around $5 a head to just go...

Looks like I have a big fan. Glad to see people appreciate my comedy.

I’m watching Friday the 13th, Part V right now, and I just realized that Dudley from Diff’rent Strokes is in it. After getting molested in a bike shop by the boss from WKRP, being chased by Jason (well, not really Jason- just a guy pretending to be Jason)...

I don’t think it’s even possible for this moron to do anything right. It’s an inauguration, not a Dio concert. Oh, and go sign this petition. It’s really important that you do. Really. Just go now. Seriously. It needs to be done.

As if we needed yet another reason to think of W as a fucking asshole.