Well, it seems we’re faced with the biggest nuclear crisis the world has seen since George W Bush tried and failed to properly pronounce the word for the 12,000th time. Sure, it’s a bad situation. And it sucks if you live in the immediate area, but anyone in California that is worried about “nuclear rain” or is taking sodium iodine is needlessly causing themselves anxiety. There is ZERO risk to those of us that live 5000 miles away from Japan. We pick up radiation every second of every day- some from space, some from all the devices we use on a daily basis, and some from activities we engage in (such as flying on an airplane). If you were to leave town and fly to the east coast, you’d pick up more radiation from the flight than you would if you stayed here and ate Blinky, the 3 eyed fish from the Simpsons.

This isn’t to say that Japan isn’t facing a crisis- they are. But the US isn’t. A solution is available, however, and I’m disappointed that the Japanese haven’t done this yet. Click here to read the thoughts of Dr. Michio Kaku, and how a sarcophagus could stop any further radiation leaks. If they don’t do this, the poor workers are going to get stuck like Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan. Below you can watch Spock about to die, followed by some nerd filking about it. Yes, filking. Since I’m sure only about 0.000001% of the population are familiar with that term, it’s when Trekkies make up folk songs about Star Trek and make me ashamed to be a nerd.