Tonight, come see me in Corona at Dempsy’s at 9 PM:
511 N. Main St.
Corona, CA 92880

The place gets a stellar 2 star rating on, and really, how can you pass that opportunity up? Here’s a quote from Yelp user Bryce C:

Most of the people that show up are 21-25 year old guys, looking to get laid or in a fight.

And this, from Hillary D:

If you ignore the idiots, you will have a good time.

Clearly, this is a fine establishment. And by “ignore the idiots,” I assume she’s not referring to the comedians. It’s the Inland Empire, land of meth, lifted trucks, and missing teeth. What do these people expect from a bar?

If you can’t make it tonight, Friday night I’ll be at The Links in beautiful Bakersfield, CA at 8:30 PM:
How can you pass up the opportunity to see me performing at a golf course? If you don’t laugh, you can bash me over the head with a gold club a la Elin Nordrgren, but I won’t give you $100 Million afterward.