OK, lesson learned here– Zambians are fucked up. I’m sorry if I offend my large Zambian readership, but seriously- you guys are a mess. You might have Victoria Falls and the finals of the World’s Strongest Man contest to boast about, but sex with a chicken?

“Cheeeeeese Gromit– we’ll go somewhere where there’s cheeeeeeeeeeeese!”

-Wallace

OK, this is just stupid– if you think that drinking these things in your water makes you go to hell or whatever is supposed to happen for not being kosher, then you’re just a retard.

“…police believe it was stolen.” Hmmm, what makes you think that?

“You are my last hope. Please help me…” Isn’t that almost what Leia sent in the hologram to Ben Kenobi? Entirely different problem, however. Since she was concerned about the fate of the Galaxy, and this woman is just a crusty old hag who can’t get any so she’s jealous of her virile neighbors.

The best part of this story is that he’s going to do a Candid Camera type show- maybe when he kills people he can say, “You just got Juiced!”