If you don’t know who Zayn Malik is, I envy you. He’s the pretty boy in the craptastic British boy band called One Direction. If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would know all the names of the members of a boy band in 2012, I would have smacked you upside the head and called you an idiot. Well, apparently I’m the idiot, since I do. I blame Twitter.

At any rate, this effeminate loser dresses in a manner that is not going to be conducive to his health when they come to Los Angeles. Dressing like a cholo (or chola, really- he’s almost a girl) when you’re not one is a bad idea.

Yes, that’s a flannel shirt with just the top button done and a white shirt underneath. That’s basically the formal uniform of cholos.

Even Sandra Bullock knows that’s a bad idea. She was able to pull it off because she produced the George Lopez show, so she gets a free pass for dressing like a chola (and it was part of a bit). But this kid with his lame accent walking around LA dressing like that? These guys probably won’t be too happy about it.

I predict many stab wounds for him if he makes a wrong turn somewhere in LA. And don’t even think about going to a Dodger game, Zayn, because cholos like sports too.
I think we’ll read in the near future about someone with the street name of “Little Puppet” shanking him 35 times.